sunshine?

It feels like it's been a long time since I ever was so engaged in life. Even without the choice, because we are all engaged whether we like it or not, but in which way is what makes the difference.
The only person who is responsible for making me so stressed lately, is I. I have been dealing with feeling broke, out of a job and study, and without friends, even though I have great friends! I don't think I show that to them as much as I want to. Even the people I don't ever really talk to are still incredibly important to me.

I end up watching all these shows and think.. why aren't I like that? Should I be? Probably the oldest saying in the books, to not compare and criticize yourself over a tv show that some douchebag would have wrote, and, usually when you watch closely enough (with the bad ones you don't even have to) you find out just how pathetic most tv shows are. Yet, I still watch them.
So, I want something else to fill my time. I get bored of books, drawing hasn't ever been much of a talent, even though I learned that everyone can draw and writing gets boring too, or I just have a block on things to write about. And as for being social, it tires me quite quickly. It takes a lot of effort to be out with people sometimes. I wish it didn't
The sooner I accept these things, the sooner they will disappear.