a frisbee, and juggling pins.
Gunna go get them myself. (wishes work would hurry the fuck up and give the money as deserved.)
3 Jan 2011
7 Dec 2010
trance and trees
I love trance!
Listening to it strengthens my embodiment of confidence and grace. Especially if it's linked with some really nice lyrics that seem to just fuse with the uplifting melody that's playing.
Some songs specifically bring about particular thoughts and emotions one has about love. The incarnation of it, the way we produce and offer our love.
The way we embody the music playing, it's having the vibration of the tunes played fed into your finger tips, and from there it flows along in several streams about your body, enabling the body to release all tension. It becomes a very fluid motion as the body follows the vibrations it receives through it's senses.
Fluid like the way a trees branches float through the wind. The tree never moves against the current of the wind, it instead moves with the force of the air. It creates a rustling of the tree's leaves and branches. A sound that is relaxing to my ears. The tree does not try to change the force that constantly pushes against it, instead it goes with the flow. And by doing so it has become one of the most beautiful parts of our world. When I think of a tree, I think of it as being a majestic soul, one that has been around for a very long time. It stands and observes, watches over everything that happens here. With nothing more than it's offer to support our life.
I love trees... and I love trance.
Listening to it strengthens my embodiment of confidence and grace. Especially if it's linked with some really nice lyrics that seem to just fuse with the uplifting melody that's playing.
Some songs specifically bring about particular thoughts and emotions one has about love. The incarnation of it, the way we produce and offer our love.
The way we embody the music playing, it's having the vibration of the tunes played fed into your finger tips, and from there it flows along in several streams about your body, enabling the body to release all tension. It becomes a very fluid motion as the body follows the vibrations it receives through it's senses.
Fluid like the way a trees branches float through the wind. The tree never moves against the current of the wind, it instead moves with the force of the air. It creates a rustling of the tree's leaves and branches. A sound that is relaxing to my ears. The tree does not try to change the force that constantly pushes against it, instead it goes with the flow. And by doing so it has become one of the most beautiful parts of our world. When I think of a tree, I think of it as being a majestic soul, one that has been around for a very long time. It stands and observes, watches over everything that happens here. With nothing more than it's offer to support our life.
I love trees... and I love trance.
28 Nov 2010
beautiful
As much as I'd love to, i cannot bring myself to just..
I think you will be waiting for me, for when I finally break through the seal
I can feel it in my heart, that you are out there watching, waiting
And I look out from behind so much, and see and feel everything consciously,
As if I were dreaming. Every movement so vivid, every gesture so fluid
Every vibration, so perfect in every way
momentum is perfect, like traveling through space as if we were flowing along an invisible line. Nothing can touch us, singular straight flowing momentum.
I want to just, reach out.. and show you what I mean.
That's where you will find me.
I think you will be waiting for me, for when I finally break through the seal
I can feel it in my heart, that you are out there watching, waiting
And I look out from behind so much, and see and feel everything consciously,
As if I were dreaming. Every movement so vivid, every gesture so fluid
Every vibration, so perfect in every way
momentum is perfect, like traveling through space as if we were flowing along an invisible line. Nothing can touch us, singular straight flowing momentum.
I want to just, reach out.. and show you what I mean.
That's where you will find me.
24 Nov 2010
sunshine?
It feels like it's been a long time since I ever was so engaged in life. Even without the choice, because we are all engaged whether we like it or not, but in which way is what makes the difference.
The only person who is responsible for making me so stressed lately, is I. I have been dealing with feeling broke, out of a job and study, and without friends, even though I have great friends! I don't think I show that to them as much as I want to. Even the people I don't ever really talk to are still incredibly important to me.
I end up watching all these shows and think.. why aren't I like that? Should I be? Probably the oldest saying in the books, to not compare and criticize yourself over a tv show that some douchebag would have wrote, and, usually when you watch closely enough (with the bad ones you don't even have to) you find out just how pathetic most tv shows are. Yet, I still watch them.
So, I want something else to fill my time. I get bored of books, drawing hasn't ever been much of a talent, even though I learned that everyone can draw and writing gets boring too, or I just have a block on things to write about. And as for being social, it tires me quite quickly. It takes a lot of effort to be out with people sometimes. I wish it didn't
The sooner I accept these things, the sooner they will disappear.
The only person who is responsible for making me so stressed lately, is I. I have been dealing with feeling broke, out of a job and study, and without friends, even though I have great friends! I don't think I show that to them as much as I want to. Even the people I don't ever really talk to are still incredibly important to me.
I end up watching all these shows and think.. why aren't I like that? Should I be? Probably the oldest saying in the books, to not compare and criticize yourself over a tv show that some douchebag would have wrote, and, usually when you watch closely enough (with the bad ones you don't even have to) you find out just how pathetic most tv shows are. Yet, I still watch them.
So, I want something else to fill my time. I get bored of books, drawing hasn't ever been much of a talent, even though I learned that everyone can draw and writing gets boring too, or I just have a block on things to write about. And as for being social, it tires me quite quickly. It takes a lot of effort to be out with people sometimes. I wish it didn't
The sooner I accept these things, the sooner they will disappear.
19 Nov 2010
that girl...
We would be so close, but when we were out in the world, avoidance would be our game; cheekily giving each other glimpses of our selves from across the room. We would smile, and grin, but we wouldn't ever make contact, not unless it was towards the end of the night. It was a strange affection, a dramatical reflection, a real life movie, we were 2 stars, everyone watched us. We had to look and play the part of that couple.
As the night closed we retired, and the sex was great, or we bickered and complained, and the sex was great.
I don't know that girl anymore. What we shared was unique, and I probably won't ever have again. It was under specific moonlight, and played by very novice actors. We grew up to find that we never knew, that at that time, we were not in a movie. Even if it felt so.
I won't ever see her again.
As the night closed we retired, and the sex was great, or we bickered and complained, and the sex was great.
I don't know that girl anymore. What we shared was unique, and I probably won't ever have again. It was under specific moonlight, and played by very novice actors. We grew up to find that we never knew, that at that time, we were not in a movie. Even if it felt so.
I won't ever see her again.
3 Nov 2010
preoccupied
I want, need to start meditating again. A few months ago I would meditate before bed most nights. I would get to a point where I could hear absolute silence, and the serenity that came with sounded so.. peaceful. Even though it took a lot of focus to get there, it was worth it. Now days even before I begin to meditate I become deaf with a constant ringing sensation in my ears!
Tinnitus? Whatever it is, I want it gone.
Meditation is one way that I keep sane and happy, and lifted. I feel grounded, and relaxed.
Sometimes I think that the ringing is from my preoccupied state with the reality I have chosen - lots of tv and other heavy distractions which distract me from myself. And the end result is just this ringing, the aftermath of muffled thought processes, or even replaced thought processes my mind picks up from the tv! Fuckin' TV.
While I haven't given it much effort, it's hard to not distract myself from contentment. Distractions are everywhere in this house, and how lovely they seem as they destroy the day. Wake up at 8 and play xbox and watch foxtel make lunch and do it some more, before you know it, the time is 8 at night and you have eaten a late dinner of baked beans on toast with a beer, and the day is gone. All I can hear is a discreet, sometimes overwhelming ringing pounding every inch of concentration I have. Better go to the doctors.
Tinnitus? Whatever it is, I want it gone.
Meditation is one way that I keep sane and happy, and lifted. I feel grounded, and relaxed.
Sometimes I think that the ringing is from my preoccupied state with the reality I have chosen - lots of tv and other heavy distractions which distract me from myself. And the end result is just this ringing, the aftermath of muffled thought processes, or even replaced thought processes my mind picks up from the tv! Fuckin' TV.
While I haven't given it much effort, it's hard to not distract myself from contentment. Distractions are everywhere in this house, and how lovely they seem as they destroy the day. Wake up at 8 and play xbox and watch foxtel make lunch and do it some more, before you know it, the time is 8 at night and you have eaten a late dinner of baked beans on toast with a beer, and the day is gone. All I can hear is a discreet, sometimes overwhelming ringing pounding every inch of concentration I have. Better go to the doctors.
26 Oct 2010
Leader
I get the feeling frequently that I have much more power or control over my surroundings than most other people. I realize that my relationship with my reality is completely up to me.. I don't know whether that's the difference between me and most others or not.. Whatever it is, it gives me a massive power to be able to lead and help others in many ways. It shits me, though. It puts a giant weight on my shoulders. Responsibility to live up to the expectations of myself in order to give those around benefit. If the relationship I have with people in my life is up to me then.. well I can determine the success of our relationship, and thus give them whatever they need to win.
Or perhaps I could consider it to be, not up to me. And if it's not, who is it up to? I think the best of friendships are between leaders of their own realities. That kind of bond could almost be unbreakable.
It takes a lot of courage and strength to push yourself through to unknown limits and exceed every expectation you ever had, and to lead people and show them just how powerful they can be, too.
It can be either a burden of responsibility, or a great gift of courage and wisdom. at the moment, it's a burden =(.
Or perhaps I could consider it to be, not up to me. And if it's not, who is it up to? I think the best of friendships are between leaders of their own realities. That kind of bond could almost be unbreakable.
It takes a lot of courage and strength to push yourself through to unknown limits and exceed every expectation you ever had, and to lead people and show them just how powerful they can be, too.
It can be either a burden of responsibility, or a great gift of courage and wisdom. at the moment, it's a burden =(.
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