And I realised I don't really have anyone at all

I don't have anyone to help me fix my problems, I don't have anyone to sit with in the cold nights, looking to the stars, no one will travel with me through the darkness.. why?

Because I don't trust any of them anymore.

I can't revive what I used to have, and I definatly wont ever be the same as before what happened. I feel like i've lost someone so special, and I can only dream of them, and I wish so hard that it's reality.. I search and search for answers that aren't there, i'm thinking about something thats not worth the thought. It's almost as if purpose isn't existant anymore, I merely float between times of the wake and the times of my dreams.

I can't become what I say I am because of my ever so limited trust, and I can't let on about my lies, my lies are my life and who I am meant to be, what I wish so hard I could really accomplish like I say I do. When I awake, I rember i'm pretending to be who I'm not anymore. I live a lie.

I think some of you may already know it just by the way I act, or maybe i'm a good actor and liar, maybe i'm just too good at being a arrogant narcisstic dickhead that none of you see through the fog i've set. Never will I let that fog raise, I will lie my whole life if I have to. I will walk this path alone, no one I know would stay on the path if they knew what I had left behind. Only false names, and false lives, not so visible to the believing eye. I'm too deep within the borderline.


In other news.... First day of school today, was fairly happy on how it went, and the best thing was no teachers I hate talked to me, yet alone came close to me. I must be scary... Maybe I should get a mohawk just to piss them off, I can then have a go at them for letting people have dreadlocks. They cause more fights than they intend, idiot fucks.

Dad is gunna pay for a course for me to be fully trained to be a computer technician, plus they help with finding work places. It's gunna cost around 6 to 7 thousand.. i'd have to pay him back though..... rats.

Donkey might be moving here for a lil while, easier to get to school (thats our excuse lol) it'd be pretty cool, him living here. It wouldn't be as lonely =D