well, yet another year has flown by, and im rather dissapointed at this new years day and the awesome crossover of the year. I got stoned like every other day, went to the boat and watched fireworks.. went home and drank more beer, dont remember what happened after that... except someone wrote "Tayla :)" on my dick.. which confuses me cause I don't know any taylas.. either way I don't remember what happened to me after 2 am.
new years day I got drunk and a tad stoned at Shanes. annnd now.. yeah.
recent happenings.. of which.. um..
mums in hospital.. this time it definatly isn't looking good at all... to see any person in such a state is horrible, but your own mother, flesh and blood, it's mind boggling. I had to hold myself back from balling my eyes out, I knew that if i cried like a lil baby it would probably make mum sad too, I have to be strong in these situations.
It never really occured to me up til now how close she is to death itself. The idea of mum being sick with cancer has grown on me, thus I never really thought about how bad it actually is, now that im old enough to know whats actually happening its all hit me in the face, the reality is that my mum could be dead right now and I wouldn't know is fucked.
see, what the real problem here...
it isnt that shes dying and im all cut up, i couldnt give a shit, even if it seems like it, what hurts me more is the fact that i dont care as much as i should. im so.. cold when it comes to love, either giving or recieveing. it makes me feel unhuman.
Who am I?
- Jim Faust
- Quickly evolving and strange concepts, bitter taste and sweet sweet serenity. Broken and completely insane, sitting in the middle of the room, quietly observing the mad chaotic vastness and admiring it's complexity, simply and peacefully.
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