What is looovee? baby don't hurt me, baby don't hurt me, noomoreee!

Lately I have found myself in dark feelings.
One's of being attached to another person, when I was single I never thought it would be possible to actually become close and clingy to a person, purely because I loved the easiness of never having to worry about another person. This time it's switched, I am the person they worry about.
The only solution I have to this is finding out why I am so caught up in the feeling of clinging to her. I find that in the relationships I have experienced with other people, and the relationships I have seen other people in, usually have someone who is less powerful in the relationship, one person generally has some kind of strength that the other adores, either consciously or subconsciously, and thus becomes the others side dish, the added extra to the main course.
I think maybe, in my own example, I become attached to the absolute easiness of the relationship. Generally, when I am with Cheyanne, I feel lighter, more centered, as that's what she is. Very centered, calm, and always optimistic. I love these qualities about her, that's true, the situation here is how much I maybe addicted to that strength, and whether I even show my own positivity, as strongly as I need to.
When it comes to masculinity, A man has to venture to find his own holy grail, where as the woman never leaves this castle. I think that this is what most relationships these days are based on. The fact that a Woman has a hidden power over the man as she never sees the quest we go on for inner completed-ness. A man will see his human woman partner as the one who gives him strength, confidence and love for his quest, when really, it should be relating to his own inner woman, his own inner feminine that should give him that same strength.
The way I see it now, is that I have clung to how easy Cheyanne just does and is. To me she is almost perfect, but it's only in a sense that she doesn't quite see life the same as I do, and I am sure that it's the opposite way around in many other relationships, and even in my own, I would guess it can change as the persons mood or feelings change.
Recently I think that this part of a relationship has been becoming more vivid to Cheyannes experience, even my own. I have always known that something has been out-of-place, kind of like a sixth sense, and I just hope that it's possible to overcome these strange and negative experiences and change them into good ones. For my life now, I chose Cheyanne because I think that with enough work, I can choose anybody that I want to share my life with. I choose her because I can, and I want to show her how bright I really can be, and I also love her smile!
I cannot help but project into the future about what could happen if Cheyanne and I did break apart, I know that with such experiences brings about a life-change, but this could mean the end of a lot of things I have become so eased into. the group of friends I have is the big one. This group of people are eased into a certain way of being, if Cheyanne and I were to break up, I really don't think I would see these people anymore. At least, I would be forced into a new place with new people. I couldn't hang around with them.
This doesn't mean I don't love these people! I have experienced so much with them, I consider them to be my family much more than my actual-blooded family, purely because I have been growing with them, like a bunch of tree's in a park, we have been growing together.

If this were to not work... It would be so painful, incredible pain. Something I may actually have to suffer, and I think that I may need to come to terms with that even if we stay together. What kind of companionship would it be if one wasn't complete without the other? That would suggest some kind of addiction in another person, feeling like they have something you don't, you aren't at one with them because you aren't at one with yourself. Companionship suggests that the 2 people are completely individual, and fully built into themselves, they don't chase something they think the other person has. That, I think is the only true love a person can ever feel for a companion. This is why I believe I can choose who I love, it's not based on things like being attached, or using that person to make you stronger, I think it's based on experiences, and those are you're own, you can choose who you like to experience with, thus if they feel the same way, companionship can arise.
True love and companionship is not secretive, is not confusing, aggressive, misleading, or depressing, real love is much more pure than that. Something so unbreakable, so intense that maybe.. just maybe, with all it's purity, it cannot actually be felt as an emotion.. if you feel something so strong for someone else, it could suggest you are missing something from yourself, and that if you are at one with yourself, and know the love which you truly are, then you can only express it one way, which is being..

Are people designed to find "one true love" represented by a human "this girl here is my true love", what I mean by this, is the stereotypical love seen in movies, that same thing that shows as of love is linked to finding someone who is "perfect", I think that that stereotype is the perfect example of seeing that one has power over the other. That one person is clinging to a part within that person that he or she actually has somewhere within themselves.
Or is love, when someone is fully at one and peace with themselves, being able to express the true love they feel, and somehow, someone is just "matched" to that person, and they're "meant" to be together?
I can't really believe this, because all humans are meant to be together, I can't see how someone can be more important than anyone else, sure, you could say family members are more important, but in reality, you get to choose how much you love.
Which leads me to believing I can choose how, and who, I love.

As long as I become fully one with myself, no more distractions, negative thoughts, and stopping to be the person I think I am, then I then, will have true power to love and choose who it is. Maybe I'm not quite there yet, but for now, I am with that person who I want to show this to. I choose her, because, quite simply, I see the miracle she is, and can be.
Love.