but.. I like swaying and driving like a madman..!

Yeah.
I am still drunk from the slab of beer, someone else's beer, and a random bottle of scotch consumed last night, but the slow painful realisation that I fucked up is terrible. Slowly creeping up my back with claws digging into the centre of my body.. I am so fucked.
After driving a friend not more than 3 kilometers away to her designated hibernation chambers, I drove like a madman back to the party, because I was drunk, and it was fun.
Yeah, hear that!? I get kicks from flying around corners, dropping the clutch and reaching top speeds in small curvy roads in the middle of northern suburbia.
It's wrong, I know that, I knew it when I kicked into 2nd gear around the corner and accelerated. I also knew this when I saw flashing blue and reds around my last corner, meters away from my destination.
Fuck.
I endangered lives, my own life, I broke the fucking road rules.
It was hardly worth it, but hey, I get incredible kicks from things you'll never know.

So have you been drinking tonight?
No...
Well we are going to breath test you.
In that case, yeah I have.

I knew I was fucked.
These cops reckon that they saw me going around the roundabout onto Connolly drive from Macnaughton cres, and only managed to catch up when I slowed down. (the reason for that was because I suddenly realised that there were headlights catching up behind me, this was still about 2 k's away from where they saw me through some long.. whined-e Streets.)

I blew 0.09 at the scene, and they took me to the cop-shop in Clarkson, where I had my second breath test, which scored somewhere around 0.18
I am not proud of what I did, however, I am proud of the way I handled the situation; accepting my fate and talking shit through the usually miserable process. I made it a fun experience, you could count on it that if I saw these cops walking through the shopping centre, they would say G'Day, idiot.
So, in the end Officer's Bob-O and Ricky dropped me back at the party, and they told me that because I was obviously one of the strangest teenagers they have ever picked up for DUI, that they wouldn't be placing a 24-hour tracking device into my car. Crazy, get that bug away from my car, dirty piggers rolling in mud.
So I told them they wouldn't be catching me later, and I rejoined the party almost like it was a walk in the park, and continued my beverage consumption.
This is my second offence, I once last year got caught DUI with a much higher blood-alcohol level, or whatever it is, fucking breathing tube. 3rd strike I go to butt-fuck world and, literally, the sun will shine through the gaping canyon my asshole once was.
Jail is a true marking on any ones life, in this crazy society, if you break the rules you get sent to a grey barred and wired grounds, massive walls and high powered rifles on each pillar. Within these walls are many cells, and in these cells there is, mass, butt-rape-age of the young and ignorant, too messed up to really know how they got there, and all it is, a nightmare.
Funny, this christian society, the Wild Wild West, we are taught gay is wrong, love and sex between same sex is sin, and if you break the hierarchy's rules, you are sent to a place where there is nothing but that, ultimate punishment is being, raped. By you're own sex.
Virtual reality can really suck sometimes.
I just want to take my goggles off and see whats around, and stop getting caught up and confused, distraught and punished, stop the suffering. I wanna see the operating base.

I get my court date this or next week, and I can expect 6 months loss of licence, and a fine of around 600 dollars, maybe more.
No, it isn't worth it, I HAVE learnt that while, I might think its all fun and games, that I am the ultimate driver of all, speeding around like it's "Need for Speed", it's illegal (like so many other fun recreational activities and substances.. fuckheads) and If I don't stop, I'll end up in prison, or worse.

I have thought this out, and, if I can get away with it, I am not going to tell my new boss, coworkers, or the jobsearch places I am connected to. I can't, I won't survive if I don't have a job.
I have gotten through the part of telling my wonderful girlfriend (but.. i didn't tell her that they picked me up for driving so fast.. sorry babe!) which is always a hurting and painful process for me, when I fuck-up, she ear bashes me until I bleed out of every pore and socket, every hole in my body, even then I don't know if shes satisfied. I love her, and.. I guess we both get off a little with a bit of ear-bashing. I like it when she talks dirty.
I am imagining giving her a good spanking right now, yeah baby!
Das what I am talkin bout!!!
So, yeah, now I just have to go through the court sentencing, pay my fines, and wait out the 6 months. I might try and apply for one of those E plates (only allowed to drive for work) but then again, If I do try, it means jobsearch will find out, and if I don't get away with it, if I am not eligible for E's, then my work finds out..... yadda yadda. It ends bad that way.
Regardless, I will probably drive to work anyways. Illegal, yeah, but if I don't then I loss my job, I am required to drive for it, so STFU!!!
Besides, the chances of being pulled over in peak-hour traffic both ways, are next to none.

Courage.

Until next time.