Stiff hugs.

Nothing to me feels colder than this, and it sparked.
Lit up a fire that has been extinct for years...

I screamed, yelled and hit the steering wheel, almost swallowing me whole. Fire burned in my fists and powerful engines roared in my chest, revving at full throttle. So I smashed into the next gear and tried to escape.
I haven't had an outburst like this for a very long time, like a extra spicy bottle of whoop-ass, been shaken and popped at it's exploding point. I remember the times where I have felt such intense aggression, I wanted to drive into it. Explode and become the thin particles and exist forever more in the fierce and powerful emotion.

My friend (who will remain nameless) would tell me about the anger bouts she would have with her son, something would just click and bang, house home ware and mirrors, windows, anything that could be broken, would be. I thought about one of the last memories I have of Cunderdin, when I told Mum I was leaving to live with dad. I think she asked why, even though she knew very well that I was not in a good environment for school or home. She lost control that night, screaming and shouting, swearing! Slamming my bedroom door "GO FUCK OFF THEN, LIVE WITH YOU'RE FUCKING DAD AND LEAVE ME HERE!" I sat up and just watched, the intensity of her anger and rage at the fact I had to go, that I wouldn't be in her life.. I'd be the son who left, because her best wasn't good enough for me.
I felt close to nothing, what was I meant to think of a aging cancer-riddled mother of mine, claiming how much she hated me for leaving?
I know she didn't mean what she said to me.
It's that same spark, losing control and flying into a uncontrollable rage. A whole heap of negative energy becoming unbound all at once.
Opening the massive door, slow motion starts as water crashes through and engulfs everyone in there.

I cannot proceed until all that water is let loose.
I need to let it out, watch it be absorbed by the sun and rain again somewhere else.
My rage will only last for seconds, and afterwards it's just numbness with an incredible itch, itchiness to let that hose go on full pelt, and thrash around in mid air, as I dance underneath.

You hurt me
Like no one else before.
I'd rather not hug you, than get a stiff hug.