Let's go thru the... triangle window

Triangles are a fucked shape.
3 points, one just above the surface..
it's a never-ending loop, a constructed pattern created by the one who dashes from point to point.
A lame script to be followed by the actor.

This is what I have learned recently, this tangle of thoughts and actions, creating what I feel, is in the shape of a triangle. I never really thought about shaping something that has no form.
The idea works, puts everything into perspective. Now I can watch what I do, and see where it goes.

I am not sure what the aim is yet, I do know that it works.
Either, I will still be in a triangle, just better thoughts, actions and feelings (feelings could be replaced with an issue, mine was mistakes.. when I think about it like that, almost everything I do is a mistake) So theres the issue, then there's my reaction to the issue, which is my thoughts and actions.
The way I react to problems determines the outcome of the problem.
Maybe I will get a circle. I like circles, they're round, and you can keep going around in the circle, laughing all the way and bouncing off the solid curved walls.
Maybe there won't be a shape at all, my idea of pure is shapeless and formless, it's only felt by the operating life-form.

I have felt the difference, and it's not much yet, I yearn for that complete change, and just by doing this I have noticed my reluctancy to change. Change the pattern, break the shape.
I realised how much I hate myself, and also realised I might be gay.
It feels depressing thinking I might be, but at the same time I like women, I haven't had a relationship with a woman that has worked yet, and I am starting to think I don't want one, with guys on the other hand, they're easy as pie. They're not as serious, much more playful.
Not in a sexual way.
I still have much to learn, who knows what I could be in the future, I just want to build a good now so there will be a good future.