It's finally over

I don't have to hold on anymore.
I can feel the clear. There is a space, in which I can be free with.
I don't have to cling to you anymore.
You have nothing I want. (Except a bit of bed shakin mmk)
Now all I have to do is float, let it be, and when I hurt, it will pass.
And when I become jealous..
Well who wouldn't wanna tap that!?
It will pass.

Only time will show me what is to come.
And how I react and sway with it's challenges, will determine the power I feel.

And I still love you will all my heart. Always have and always will.
You are a fantastic person (when you want to be) and you bring incredible positive energy to any table. For that, I will always show you how I feel, or how I want to feel.
The need and desire for something that never worked is gone.
Which is fucking weird.. How on earth does anyone desire something that only brings hurt?
That's what actual relationships are? Nothing but pitiful arguments and negativity over nothing? And every things just "OK" the rest of the time?
We have some serious shitty role models out there kids, look around and tell me who is really happy in a relationship, that you know of.
And they will either not tell the whole truth, or tell you the truth, which is it has it's ups and downs but clearly it's not the most fulfilling relationship, it isn't really what they expect or desire. And yet they keep at it, we pretend to accept those people for who they are and yet I sense a severe act of repulsion between them.
I hate to judge, but unfortunately if we didn't have this voice then we would be just as stupid as apes.
Exception to the apes that fly space craft and shit.

The relationship ideal is that you fall in love, or have a deep bond with a person, so you both decide on "making it official", kind of like a bonding ceremony that ties the 2 people together. And we see them for their awesome at first, and you come to find that the person has an issue. There's no secrets here, there is no trying to pretend, it's just who you are, and it freezes like that. Why would you want to change? They like you right?
People have their own conceptions of who they take themselves to be, and that's who they portray when in a close relationship with someone. In my particular case I was quite weak and needy. This is who I thought I was, due to the influence of relationships I have seen and been through in my life so far.
And it made me vulnerable in this particular relationship, I had grown so much into believing I had to be so, no wonder she was angry with me! I was a helpless puppy!
(Reference to billy maddison intended,"The puppy who lost his way" smart motherfucker.)

So I have come to terms with this.
That I was not in good connection with my inner opposite. The one who inspires and reminds me why I explore.(Reference to "HE" masculine psychology)
She became manifested through this relationship. She sure did try to inspire me! Unfortunately, it's impossible for a real life reality woman-bot to assume the stance of my inner chick-a-dee.
So my learning is that if I really am not sure how my inner balance is with my inner woman, then go out with a girl and see what stance she takes.
God, that would be stupid and painful.

I don't think there is such thing as a successful "relationship" or "marriage", depending on what you think is positive. There is possibility for a positive bond, and a close one at that. As soon as you infatuate any kind of drama in the bond, then you better think about moving on. Because neither side is completely happy with their inner self.