Goodbye

I'm not friends with sam anymore now, he didn;t want to drop a subject I didn't want to talk about so he had a go at me, blocked me, came back and said we aren't friends. Maybe I didn't want to talk about TP because its such a fatal memory to me now, and right now i'm not in the mood for despressing thoughts, but no, They came and I haven't bothered stopping them.

Memories. Something no one can take away from you, unless you get some sorta bad head injury, its something that you'll always keep. Like scars to the wrist, they are engraved into your brain, and only sometimes you forget they're there, and can't find them. It happens most of the time when the memory isn't important. You usually only remember things that effected you somehow, or parts of it, eg. I remember parts of a few nights where i've been, or someone else has, been a total fuckhead. Things that you remember are things that changed you. Maybe in slight ways, but they got to your subconcious.

He said he would cherish the memories I had to create for him to have, and I said that i was gunna use a phrase i hate... "whatever" because I dont care about him anymore, as it showed that he didnt give a toss what TP meant to me, and sure, maybe he felt the same way about it, but we couldve talked about it a different time, and avoided it completely. But, then again, it was gunna happen sooner or later.

A few weeks ago Swa talked to both me and sam about the whole thing, and talked me into another chance, so sam wanted to organize another old fashioned pizza night that I used to organize, and we talked about it twice probably, and he didnt say anything about it since.

They say that it can take years, and years to build up a good trust in a relationship, but only moments to fuck it all up.

In this case, im not exactly sure, I suppose I trusted that Swa wouldve made sam try a lil more than a 2 time talk about it for 10 minutes thing. I didnt get my hopes up this time, good thing i didnt either.

The saying is true about the trust, as its also true for other things, like good friendships to be created, and this one died in an instant, well, it was on life support (by me ofcourse) when it was really just a waste of electricity to keep the support going for something that wasnt going to wake up.

None of this matters, I have Kenny as a good mate now, and he asks to see me quite a lot, we have a lot in common and he doesnt fuck off with someone else because the other one lives a lil bit too far away.

So goodbye, I hope you enjoy the army.. you stooge.