You'll never leave this world alone

I am the world, the world reflects who I am with how I am with it.
If I am hurt, my kingdom is hurt.
Funny thing is, thats mean't to relate to something within myself, in this crazy reality, the kingdom is exterior.
It's so hard to see how everyone became exactly how they are now, how I am now.
nothing that happened in the past seems relevent to who I am at this present moment, it's irrelevent because it's not true, it's not here now, the only thing thats here now is, well now.
this moment is the only thing that exsists for me, and yet my brain and body disagree.
Fuck you.

I am starting to see the relevance of true nature, and the subtle ways people take, without knowing it themselves, to avoid what they really are.
for me it's getting harder to understand as I become more aware of my problems, obviously I have stuff kept in from my whole life up until these current moments.
What annoys me so, is the deleuded arrogance of someone very close to me, I am unable to show that person how they are acting because they are completely unaware of how they sound. And that because of their unawareness of themselves they miss seeing me for who I am, and it hurts. They think it's the other way around too.

I can imagine how easy and "simple" some peoples lives must be, get their houses and jobs, pleanty of money, a sexy wife and kids, a great car, and a bunch of people who are just as deleuded as you are. This pisses me off, because they deny what's really important for themselves. Fuck them, arrogant pigs are destroying their own race by doing nothing but pretend.

I can see the way this person acts with me, something was so easy and unexperienced that they get trapped in this loop of not experiencing another person fully for what they are.
Our views on people are completely different, I understand that I have a person that I created to be me, and it's a rather helpless foolish kid. What I also realise that this person I have created is not me, I first realised this when I couldn't find him after some LSD, I felt completely lost and confused, I knew the feeling of a desperate search for something irrelevant.
The real me is essence, thats the real everyone.
I worry so much more, this person who is so close to me I care about more than anyone else. I want understanding between the 2 of us without one having to win a prize and the other being shut down. I cannot fully express because deep down, I can't trust this person. It makes me so sad, seeing the anger and agression, the competition and jelousy not only rise in other people, but in myself as well, purely because I cannot get myself out, I can't support myself at this time, I fall in line with the rest of the ignorance.

Ignorance is not bliss when you're a foolish motherfucker.