If I could scream so loud as to measure how much Negativity has gathered around you;
In my own mind, where it came from.
I'd break my voicebox and spontaneously conbust not long after.

The hardest part of you is getting over this mountain, when I look it looks pretty fucking massive.
I stand at the enterance of recovery, and it's very dark.
Because when I walk through...
I lose all hope of getting back what was there.

Somewhere in the background lies the answer.
And I think about it..
Deep down, I wanted to protect something.
Protect my hurt, pain and sorrow.
I would pretend it was all okay, and act as if it meant nothing to me. I would be so withdrawn and pulled away from whatever was there.
And I would argue that I didn't know what was going on.
The reality is there wasn't an issue there, and there isn't issue here now. Despite the fact I feel it.
I crave to have "someone" accept me for who I really am, and respect that I can change. Someone who cares enough to see me for all my ego-glory and my love and light.

I wonder why this is, to crave an opposite to love you so much.
And why it becomes painful to be without.