This time..

I have no idea what the next few years has install for me. I'm slowly making a massive transformation into the complete unknown territory that most ordinary people fear. I have wanted this for so long, an evolution out of this constant disconnected feeling. It drains me of love.

And where I'm going will have vast quantities of that and much more, so much that I'm afraid! And excited, whatever I will learn in the vast emptiness will bring me much fortune. I have met few visionary philosophers and mystics so far, those strong enough to really explore the strength of their own existence.
First I am learning one specific style of holistic healing which is pretty vast in what it teaches, I'll learn much more than just herbs and spices. From there I have no idea. I guess that's something I'll figure out once I get there, I will most likely find another course of study that can be used for around the globe, and do that.
It's painful enough saying goodbye to everyone and everything I know. In the sense that I am slowly losing the identity that I was known for and generating a complete transformation into a new being (or.. super saiyan if you will =P).
I treat life as I know it as a game, in-which I believe I know all the rules and regulations that I must play by. Recently I have learned that it is definitely not the case, and that in order to loosen up and play properly I have to let go of those rules. Rules I made up, that don't exist in reality itself.

The first is separation. There will be pain, scars that I cannot see that will be revealed. Somehow I'll find my way deeper..
I will say goodbye to those who cannot find the serenity and wisdom to know the difference. Somehow I cannot see myself around "fixed" people, not that I dislike them, more that these people aren't as interesting as they would like to be, or as happy as they deserve.
So my quest is still beginning, I have so much to learn and yet not so much at all. It's something I want to do, and anyone in my way will disappear.