How many times must it repeat

Well, this weekend seemed to go alright, I managed to get back all the money I spent on drugs (plus a little bit more..)

Friday night I went to the rise, accompanied by a few others. Before we go into whatever detail from that, beforehand sophie came round here to visit. The one thing I learnt (which soon dissapeared from my personality) was actual respect, not the kind I thought I had (false respect).

I had it in my system for that day, but it ran away with the alcohol I drank later on. Which I am now very unhappy about.

I got 20 pills and 10 rit for the weekend (all to sell ofcourse)

I can't remember all the sales I made, but theres 2 in paticular I feel shitted about.
The first one was a guy named eddy, who convinced me that he would repay me the next day, which he didn't. allthough it was only 1 he wanted. So not much lost there.

Then another bloke wanted 5, I said for 40 considering he wanted more than 2, he then changed his mind to 4 of them, and kept trying to haggle me down, I refused. So we walked to the atm, where his mate and himself both fiddled around on 2 atms for about 10 minutes, I looked over his shoulder a few times to see the words "insufficient funds" written on the screen. I waited either way, then he came to me with a bunch of 20's, he had handed me 50 bucks before the atm, so thus owed me a further 150, in the end, I got 130 from him, I was sick of waiting around with the cheap bastard.

At the moment, sunday arvo, I'm feeling rather fucking pissed off with myself, for being such an idiot. The people I trust and see aren't worth it. A lot of them sub-consciously fuck with eachothers heads, including mine. Stealing eachothers conciousness, not caring about anything cept sucking the life out of the people they say they love and respect.

I don't know how much more of this I can take, it's made me sick for so long, and its starting to punch holes in my skull. Literally causing a headache. Knowing that no matter how much further I climb out of this hole, some cunt will pull me back in, whether I notice or not won't make a difference. They disgust me.